new home

New home without you.  Wowser it was so much easier with you.  I've been trying not to write about you in the J, but as I look for a new home.  I feel the pain. 

Stop dwelling on how great I had it, and how lonely I am.  FOCUS ON THE GOODNESS.

nutrition solutions

snails this morning

I came about a few snails this morning outside.  Small and slimy, but able to lift 10 times their body weight and nocturnal.  My mom was with, and although she wasn't a truly impressed with the slimy nature of the hermaphrodites, she was impressed their winter survival.

Truly the sign of a good day! 

Dinner with my mom

I miss having dinner with my mom as a child.  Such an innocent memory for me.  Today's haiku is for my mom.  I miss her and can't wait to see her.

Upon rise you gave
Throughout day you smiled and praised
On eve you had warmth

Love you mom for making me be the best.  I crave the day I get to be a mother like you.

self description

Thanks Jeremy for the message below.  I am working on my own personal description.  I want to change it and jump into a new path for life....muchas gracias, que el mundo se levantarán de conocerte.


My short self description of my own personality is: it is in my nature to love, to live, to learn, to grow, to help others, to heal, to teach, to explore, to be fascinated with the unknown, to seek compassion for justice, to love good food, to travel, to see the greatness in everyone, to find beauty in anything, to be intense and passionate with life itself.
* I am loved because I love. I am greatness no better or worse then any one else. I am brilliant with divine genius within me. I stand with integrity, and I have good ethics.
* I am peaceful, understanding, trusting, and comforting. I have a good sense of humor, I am a tripper tripping out on weirdness weirder then the weirdest weirdness that is weird – I am deep.
* I love variety, I am passionate, growth oriented, I love to create and manifest,
* I am a participating student of practicing unconditional love, a man on a mission defining his path.

chances by Anne Guzman

Sometimes you have to take a chance.  A jump.  A leap of faith.  In order to move on.  Sometimes you have to leave someone behind, even if it hurts, so you can move on.

I have been lost since you died.  I have tried to move.  But even when I go all in for a new endeavor, I return back to this same lost state.  I hate that you left.  I wish you never would have died.  I hate being without you.  So here is my good better letter.  My Doctor thought this might help me.

TO: MY BELOVED
FROM: ANNE GUZMAN

I wasn't prepared to be without you.  You were taken from me in a blink, and that only makes me think I took you for granted.  I am reminded of you so frequently.  I still stare at our pictures and your belongings which occupy this space.  But you see, I am unhealthy.  My mind is a mess, and my body is worse.  So today, I am going to try to say good bye again.  For me this time.

I will never forget what we shared. 

Good bye.


nutrition cycling

Snow day!

Snow Day - one of my favorite poems (and my mom's too.)  This should brighten anyone's day!

Snow Day

By Billy Collins b. 1941 Billy Collins

Today we woke up to a revolution of snow,   

its white flag waving over everything,

the landscape vanished,

not a single mouse to punctuate the blankness,   

and beyond these windows

the government buildings smothered,

schools and libraries buried, the post office lost   

under the noiseless drift,

the paths of trains softly blocked,

the world fallen under this falling.

In a while, I will put on some boots

and step out like someone walking in water,   

and the dog will porpoise through the drifts,   

and I will shake a laden branch

sending a cold shower down on us both.

But for now I am a willing prisoner in this house,   

a sympathizer with the anarchic cause of snow.   

I will make a pot of tea

and listen to the plastic radio on the counter,   

as glad as anyone to hear the news

that the Kiddie Corner School is closed,   

the Ding-Dong School, closed.

the All Aboard Children’s School, closed,   

the Hi-Ho Nursery School, closed,

along with—some will be delighted to hear—

the Toadstool School, the Little School,

Little Sparrows Nursery School,

Little Stars Pre-School, Peas-and-Carrots Day School   

the Tom Thumb Child Center, all closed,

and—clap your hands—the Peanuts Play School.

So this is where the children hide all day,

These are the nests where they letter and draw,   

where they put on their bright miniature jackets,   

all darting and climbing and sliding,

all but the few girls whispering by the fence.

And now I am listening hard

in the grandiose silence of the snow,

trying to hear what those three girls are plotting,   

what riot is afoot,

which small queen is about to be brought down.

Rainbows

Things are great amidst this full blown winter craze cycle.  I see light at the end of the tunnel and it is surrounded with rainbows far and wide.  Although I am still saddened by my loss.  I feel the whole body encompassed need to get myself healthy again.  Original mission.  Get myself healthier so I can become a member.  I will strive to make myself safe and healthy.  Move on from the deep sadness from losing you.  Get healthy.  MOVE FORWARD ANNE!!!!  NO MORE STEPS BACK.

Oh, Rainbow

(sing this to the tune of "Oh, Christmas Tree")

Oh, rainbow, oh, rainbow,
How lovely are your colours.
Oh, rainbow, oh, rainbow,
How lovely are your colours.
Purple, red and orange, too,
Yellow, green and blue so true.
Oh, rainbow, oh, rainbow,
How lovely are your colours.

Cloudy day out

It's a cloudy day out my door.  I need to learn something today to make me smarter and lose the memory of bitter coldness.  So what are the types of clouds?
 
CUMULUS CLOUDS are white and fluffy. They look like large puffs of cotton.  Cumulus clouds form mostly on warm summer days and usually mean the weather will be fair. In hot weather, a cumulus cloud may grow extra big and turn dark. It becomes a thunderhead.

STRATUS CLOUDS are low in the sky.  They spread over a large area like a giant gray blanket.  Stratus clouds are rain clouds.

CIRRUS CLOUDS are streaky. They look like thin feathers.Cirrus clouds are very high in the sky where it is very cold. They are made up of tiny ice crystals. Cirrus clouds tell us that it may rain or snow within a day or two.