Tuesday, March 3, 2015


Things are great amidst this full blown winter craze cycle.  I see light at the end of the tunnel and it is surrounded with rainbows far and wide.  Although I am still saddened by my loss.  I feel the whole body encompassed need to get myself healthy again.  Original mission.  Get myself healthier so I can become a member.  I will strive to make myself safe and healthy.  Move on from the deep sadness from losing you.  Get healthy.

Oh, Rainbow

(sing this to the tune of "Oh, Christmas Tree")

Oh, rainbow, oh, rainbow,
How lovely are your colours.

Oh, rainbow, oh, rainbow,
How lovely are your colours.

Purple, red and orange, too,
Yellow, green and blue so true.

Oh, rainbow, oh, rainbow,
How lovely are your colours.

Monday, March 2, 2015

Cloudy day out

It's a cloudy day out my door.  I need to learn something today to make me smarter and lose the memory of bitter coldness.  So what are the types of clouds?
CUMULUS CLOUDS are white and fluffy. They look like large puffs of cotton.  Cumulus clouds form mostly on warm summer days and usually mean the weather will be fair. In hot weather, a cumulus cloud may grow extra big and turn dark. It becomes a thunderhead.
STRATUS CLOUDS are low in the sky.  They spread over a large area like a giant gray blanket.  Stratus clouds are rain clouds.
CIRRUS CLOUDS are streaky. They look like thin feathers.Cirrus clouds are very high in the sky where it is very cold. They are made up of tiny ice crystals. Cirrus clouds tell us that it may rain or snow within a day or two.

Wednesday, February 25, 2015


New do.  New day.  Wildly fanatic about this new haircut.
So today is the day. Mark this day.
I am going to find a new love.  Dramatic-drastically change.   Cut cut.  Move move. 
Walking to positivity in the moon with a found new tune above. 

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

bouncing and change

The loss is hard and the gain is hard.  Plus my life is really messed up because I bounced all over the place, from here to there, and back, that I am no longer solid anywhere.  How do I restart? 

I first named this reflections to help me get through this learning change, now I think I need to rename.  Maybe I should be a reflection of my life.  Maybe now it should be proactive change.

And jeepers, three full days now.  Need a consistent theme.  Better name and theme.

I love travelling through train. Meeting various types of interesting and unique people during a train journey is a big source of internal pleasure and external entertainment to the people. Like many people I have fascination for making memories a journal through train. I am very fond of train journeys because traveling in trains makes me feel pleasant & enjoyable. I was eagerly waiting for an opportunity to travel in train somewhere as I was wanted to experience something good after hectic life. 


So much snow this year. I think it is a sign.  A sign of great things to come in my future, since I had such a rough past.  Some day I will make it and be a bright star.  I guess I am just learning how to redefine success.  My version will be different from the rest.  And I will be content alone again in life and work.  But some day I will make it and be a bright star.

Bright star in the sky.
A big bright star far away.
Welcome home bright star.

Bright Star

By John Keats 1795–1821 John Keats
Bright star, would I were stedfast as thou art—
         Not in lone splendour hung aloft the night
And watching, with eternal lids apart,
         Like nature's patient, sleepless Eremite,
The moving waters at their priestlike task
         Of pure ablution round earth's human shores,
Or gazing on the new soft-fallen mask
         Of snow upon the mountains and the moors—
No—yet still stedfast, still unchangeable,
         Pillow'd upon my fair love's ripening breast,
To feel for ever its soft fall and swell,
         Awake for ever in a sweet unrest,
Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath,
And so live ever—or else swoon to death.

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Make it Stop!

Make it stop.  make it stop... make it stop.

I'm so over this.  I'm done.  You're gone. 

Pain. Pain. Pain.

Okay.  What would be the best most healthy approach to this?  What would my Doctor tell me to do so I can get over this for once and for all and not have this burden all over myself.  I need to get healthy.  I am just so damn messed up in the head and body that I am no longer healthy.  Sometimes I wonder if I hit the PEAK OF PAIN!  Could more pain be out there for my little heart.  Could there be more.  You are gone, what is my next step.  I wasn't ready to be alone. 

Thursday, January 1, 2015

Without you

I have to start the new year without you. 

Just like that, you are dead.  I don't have you in my life.  You are gone. I'm so lost. 

You're not in my life.  I was on such a healthy path and You messed up my world.  How do I go forward?